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| 01:30pm 22/11/2005 |
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I'm not doing well.
My family is not doing well.
Let's make this stop.
I might just do that. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| It's cool. Sartre told me to do it. |
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| 09:32pm 16/11/2005 |
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I felt incredibly special for most of the day.
I say special... because well, I couldn't think of another damn word to use.
It's cold.
I dig it.
So, I'm pretty sure this isn't the end of the world.
But from what I hear, I'm terribly wrong.
I hate being wrong.
Therefore, it is NOT the end of the world.
------------------------------------------------
I am that gram you bought lastnight.
I am that dime you say smells like blueberries.
I am your addiction.
I am your trip to rehab.
I am only what you ask me to be.
I am that class you failed.
I am that book you never read.
I am your neglect.
I am your love.
I am your concentration.
I am that medication you have to take.
I am what makes your life unbalanced.
I am inevitable.
I am stoppable.
I am no longer in your grasp, when life get's out of wack.
I am nothing and everything.
I am the air you breathe.
I am the words you write.
I am the humans right to life.
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Let's hope the next few days go smoothly.
I'll be in New York around lunch time on Sunday.
------
I have the MOST pointless posts ever.
It's all due to be being terribly mad wack. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| I don't like cows that much. |
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| 11:28am 14/11/2005 |
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To be honest.
I don't give a damn.
Anyway.
I no longer use "gatsbyCANTdance" on AIM.
If you would like to talk to me add "oh hush clark".
It's much easier.
There is no need to explain why the name anymore.
So add me.
And speak to me.
You shouldn't love me.
I'm just a crack head.
listen to erase errata. OMG SO FUCKING INDIE. BALH BLAH BLAH.
6days. |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| Truth is... I wish I never fell in love. |
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| 10:32pm 09/11/2005 |
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Another Whiny Post by ElisabethClark.
So tonight.
I saw my first love.
My exboyfriend.
The thing about first loves is that you lose a piece of your heart to that person.
I loved him so much.
And of course I made a mistake.
But truth is...
All good things die.
But...
I saw him.
And of course...
Time changes people.
But I mean he really changed.
He's all gangster'd out and shit now.
I mean it's still my Geo.
But damn.
He's rocking $400 diamond studs for his ears.
And the full gangster attire.
It made me sad.
Made me go back to a lot of my old posts.
It made me sad.
So this is the old Geo...
Well.. kinda. I can't find a lot of pictures... but still.
 
Mid change...
Change...
BUTTTT.
It's all cool.
Cause he's still damn cool.
He gave me some pants from a long time ago that he use to wear all the time.
And they are fucking great.
MAN.
If I weren't giving them to Sean.
I'd wear them all the time.
I got my phone taken away when I got home.
So I can't call Sean like I said I would.
JESUS I SUCK TITS.
HAHAHA.
11111111days.
(eleven) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Let's forget this. Please forget this. |
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| 09:43pm 08/11/2005 |
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mood:  confused
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I feel the need to vent.
I feel the need to express my feelings.
All of them that I have right now.
So, if you don't want to read a "whiny" post.
Just skip me.
You see, I had this amazing friend.
We'd been best friends since 7th grade.
I mean...
I didn't spend a weekend without him.
We went through thick and thin.
But always together.
I loved him.
I still love him.
But the friendship got rocky.
All because Clark felt she fell in love.
Fell in love with the wrong boy.
Texas.
That state caused me troubles.
So, over time...
Clark spent too much time with this boy.
And began losing friendships.
Yes, a lot were lost.
But more than anything Clark lost the friendship Clark treasured most.
She began doing bad things again.
All due to Mr. Texas.
Clark lost her bestfriend.
A friend she could never replace.
Ever since...
It's never been the same.
Clark soon got rid of Mr. Texas.
Realized all the wrong she had done.
Clark tried to get back her bestfriend.
And he tried too.
But too much had changed.
Too much to go back to being the same.
Clark then met another boy.
This boy was different.
Spontaneous and funny.
He wasn't her lost bestfriend.
But he was quite the friend.
Their friendship grew.
And soon Clark found another bestfriend.
One that was always there for her.
He truly is amazing.
(I'm not saying he replaced the other bestfriend... he just became what she needed)
Clark got news today.
That he's moving.
Again.
A bestfriend is lost.
Clark has lost 3 friends in the past 8 months.
1. death 2. North Carolina ate her 3. My Melissa.
Now this.
Clark loves Bailey (the bestfriend) a lot.
Clark cried for two hours when she got the news.
Don't get me wrong.
Clark loves all of her friends.
The girls too.
(I know... I've only mentioned guy bestfriends... but, I seem to relate to them more)
So he's moving.
He's really moving.
Clarks life is getting to stressful.
Clarks life is taking a turn for the worst.
Maybe I need this trip.
For more than one reason.
I need to see other faces.
I need to escape this Tupelo drama.
You know, doctors and philosophers say for things to get better they must first get worse.
I hope this is the worst it gets.
I expect only better soon.
Clarks tendonitis is acting up.
Clark will quit typing.
note I apologize for the constant refering to myself as Clark instead of I... and for the complaining.
Have a good night. |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| I don't know what I can save you from. |
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| 08:03am 20/09/2005 |
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mood:  Not Well At All
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So much has been going on.
It's mind rattling.
Mind numbing as well.
Where to start.
I shall start with the negative and then go from there.
So, the play opens this Saturday. And I am nervous as hell.
My mother was in the hospital on Sunday.
I've never heard anyone is so much pain.
I got in an awful carwreck yesterday (monday.)
And I actually got out of the car wishing I had gotten hurt.
Lastnight very few people showed up for the Rookie of the Year show.
Enough bitching.
I'll go on to the positive.
Lastnight I realized people do indeed have hearts.
Everyone who cared about me made me smile.
They almost made me forget my car was in an awful state.
Rookie of the Year did splendidly.
I'll miss those guys.
They made me feel special, indeed.
Matt Lott, Harrison, and I ran to my house to get extra money for the bands after the show.
We talked of music.
And I realized how much we all have in common.
Not everyone is narrowminded towards music.
It's refreshing.
Always have a conversation with me about music...
It will make my day.
Speaking of the play (trust me I did mention it above, so this does somewhat make sense)...
I know I have very few friends on here that actually participate in Theatre.
But I just wanted to share with you guys the awkwardness of kissing someone on stage.
No, now. It's not that awkward because it's a part of the job.
But when you're acting against someone who has never been on the stage before this, you feel uneasy.
Plus with the cast sitting there marveling over you two on the first night you practice it.
You honestly feel like crawling into a cave.
Or you're in a cage at the zoo.
And the people are screaming (or thinking)"MATE! MATE! MATE!"
Ha.
But Nathan is a wonderful guy.
And now we're over the embarassment.
All is well.
Oh, and yes again shall I mention I am blind in this play.
HA.
Come see it.
This Saturday(24) at 7:30, Sunday(25) at 2:30, and Monday(26) at 7:30.
Just to let you know.
I don't give a damn if you think I am sketchy.
And don't call her sketchy.
She's done nothing to you.
Sixty-two days until I get on that flight home.
Ha.
Home.
I should be taking a trip to ATL soon.
There is someone there I feel I need to see.
Someone I need to apologize to.
You know who you are.
Everyone do me a favor and pray/think or whatever your preference may be for my mother.
The pain seems to get worse everyday.
Thanks for all the support guys.
Oh, and drive safely.
-Clarkkky |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| opposite. opposite. opposite. |
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| 05:12pm 10/09/2005 |
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mood:  calm
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School is kicking my ass.
I really have to buckle down.
I will.
I think.
I hope.
I recorded one of my new piano compostions on Thursday.
It's really very elegant and classy.
It reminds me of a scene of the victorian period.
As in there is a lady in victorian dress lying on a lounge seat and classically smoking a cigarette.
I know it's weird I would describe a piece like that...
But it's what I thought of when writing it.
I doubt I'll ever let anyone listen to it.
I might.
I might not.
I recommend long distant relationships.
They're beautifully stressful.
They're graciously delicate.
Just be happy, I suppose.
I am.
Oh goodness.
I was so angry yesterday...
Some asshole came up to me and said the following:
"God, you're not hardcore enough. Fucking Indie kid. Fuck that. Be scene. When were you born anyway the eighties?"
I thought...
I'm going to kill him.
But first I must say "Yes, actually I was born in the eighties!"
I hate people like that.
what a stupid bitch. |
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Read 10 - Post |
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| Dooooot |
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| 11:06am 07/09/2005 |
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Let's think about this for a second.
I mean honestly.
How many days of the week do we just sit around and watch television.
It's not healthy.
I can't stand to think about all of this.
I think constantly about how much time we spend in front of the television and the computer.
I'm typing this, of course, on a laptop, sitting in front of the televison.
Hyprocritical?
Possibly.
But it's what we do.
WHY DO WE DO THIS?!
No, now. Don't think I'm typing some nonconformist---nonconsumer shit.
It's only human.
I just want to know why...
I'm sure the above makes NO sense.
On a not rambling note.
73 days.
73!!
" Eres la novia perfecta y todo me gustaria tener!"
I love my Staten Island puerto rican who is incredibly fluent in spanish.
AHHH.
Ok. So I just listened to the Emily Rose tapes...
and DAMN.
Everyone should go listen to Reinhardt (this is his last name)!
three words describe it
Incredible Jazz Guitar! |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. |
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| 06:16pm 02/09/2005 |
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mood:  shut up please
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I honestly don't give a damn.
No truthfully I don't.
So here's to my apathy.
And to you...
So let us be honest with ourselves from here on.
I think I'm erroding away.
My mind is not what it use to be...
strong, witty, and damn useful.
Now I feel that it's nothing.
Pudding.
Last night's supper even.
Does this make me think worse of myself...
No.
It just means that perhaps I read too much Sarte'.
So in seventy-nine days...
UTOPIA.
My utopia, rather.
New York City and Staten Island.
I'm counting down the days.
Oh yes, Oh yes I am.
I don't normally let things like this happen.
Some might think it's silly.
I can't help it.
It's happiness I seek.
It's happiness I find there.
It's happiness I will get.
So I find myself paying less and less attention to things.
Not good.
It was hard enough before.
"Though I am old enough to have discovered that
the dreams of youth are not to be realized in this state of existence
yet I think it would be the next greatest happiness always to be allowed
to look under the eyelids of time and contemplate the perfect steadily
with the clear understanding that I do not attain to it." - Henry David Thoreau |
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| 11:51pm 15/08/2005 |
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So in AP English III we were assigned to do a poem. Now, Dr. Shelton didn't give us much more than the title "Where I am From" and how many lines it should consist of. Literally, that's all. So, I'm sitting here, quite frankly not knowing what the hell she wants to see... end result:
"Where I am From"
I am from a raving gene pool
Consisting not just of DNA
But of musical notes and melodies
I am from two journalists' dreams
Nursed by love and beautifully written verse
Weaned on Twain and C.S. Lewis
I am from center stage
Whre the spotlight is always attentive
Speaking fact or fiction of geniuses past
I am from an actress' heart
Following in her footsteps wtih a slight twist
Holding tight a close relationship
I am from the North's noisy great streets
Traveling West with trees
And then South to continue such dreams
I am honestly hoping this is something like what she wanted.
I admit it isn't all that great.
Not many people will get it...
1st stanza- musical love and how it runs in my veins
2nd- mother and father and their influence on me
3rd- my love for theatre
4th- my sister and such
5th- my family is originally from New York State, then Iowa, now here Mississippi.
Well, I need to head to bed.
Actually I have to do some reading for Latin. |
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Read 10 - Post |
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| Michael Wilkerface why oh why did you leave your shirt and wallet in my car? |
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| 09:18am 14/08/2005 |
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mood:  Fingerfingerfinger
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Well, it's about that time again.
School.
It started and will continue my friends until that faithful day.
Will Clark make it that far?
Stay tuned.
Well Troopers, hopefully it won't be that bad.
My Latin teacher is insane.
New EyeCandy in Theatre.
I just hope I can pass three AP courses.
Not to mention I'm in ART?! Um... I had to take something.
Oh and no lunch.
OH WELL.
WEIGHT LOSSSSSSS!
WOOO.
Play practice starts tomorrow night.
The Night Is My Enemy.
Come see it.
I'm the lead blind girl.
How Beautiful.
You know when you have something in your possession that isn't yours, and you just want to look at it.
Yeah. I'm having that problem.
But I won't look.
It's not polite
I know what you're thinking.
So shut up.
My weekend has been uneventful.
Friday night- Oxford back to Tupelo.
Saturday- Libby's birthday pool party.
Today- can die.
I really dislike that school is back in session.
staten island
Clark |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| Mistake... Not a mistake... Mistake... Not a mistake? |
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| 11:32pm 08/08/2005 |
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mood:  exclaimation points?
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I get so tongue tied.
I get so tongue tied.
Get into your brain and tell. wether. or. not. you're. a. good. person.
See I was born with a demons mind.
The winner comes in Second Place. (r)
- I'm sorry if I don't fit your little profile.
- I apologize profusely.
- I say I'm sorry.
- I never mean it.
- God, you're so ridiculous.
- WHY AREN'T YOU SCENE CLARK?! GOSH.
- Oh, suck it...
- seriously
Crazy rats...
Rats rats rats.
LIE ABOUT.
SCREAM AND shhhout!
I have classes, yes I do.
But I'm not gonna fucking tell you.
Today was okkk (with all the extra k's)
Slept late.
Showered.
LAZY.
Picked up the Libby and met Noelle.
Uptown somewhere in there.
Talked with Evan, Stan, Hannnnnhotshitnaaahhh, and Ms. precious Jade.
Bailey, Jaime, Lynn.
Jack, Helon, Randall.
Here.
Show tomorrow...
I don't give a shit who you are.
You better be there.
SHOWBREAD, SHOWDOWN, MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER, AND WHORESTOOSKINNY.
Rockwell sons of bitches
7 O clock.
PRICE OF $10.
So. I have to be there at 430 or 5 to set up the AVIOR booth.
AH, maybe... Just maybe we'll sell something.
WHO WANTS TO GO EAT LUNCH WITH ME TOMORROW?
C'mon kids, everyone's doing it.
FATTY!!!
FLUFFERPOTAMUS. With titties!
WINTER TURNS INTO SPRRRINNGG.
HAHA.
You should all own a Erase Errata, The Planet The, Tracy + the Plastics, and a Bike Gang Knife Fight cd.
Or you suck.
OR MAYBE THERE JUST NOT YOUR MUSIC.
If not, that's cool.
But at least give a listen.
CHIP OFF THE OLD DAMN BLOCK.
daddy- 
son-  the resemblence is crazy.
Someone caught them... UH OH.
I'll leave you on this note friends...
he's always been my hero
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Read 6 - Post |
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| Desire on repeat. |
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| 03:50am 03/08/2005 |
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So here's to us...
And all the days that lay ahead.
Saw Veda tonight.
I miss being a band.
Kristen is the nicest girl ever.
She's got amazing stage presence.
I'm going through withdrawls again from being in a band.
MewithoutYou.
Good as always.
Katie and Michael went with us.
Two of my favorite people.
There's a lover at your window
Saying 'Darling, Baby, Please.'
But you're inclined to reject such an invitation.
To Us.
To the future, whatever may be in store. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| A Quick Dance With a Fool |
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| 10:45pm 30/07/2005 |
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mood:  awkward
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Truth be told not many know the little things about me.
I often drive after dark down the Natchez Trace by myself.
I do wear cowboy boots.
I'd rather be beautiful than "hot".
I have a diverse taste in music and I am always listening for new experiences.
I live in a rather naive town.
I prefer cold weather.
When it's drizzling, you can find a flame of romance in my eye.
I miss being in a band very much.
I've probalay been in more bands than you'd imagine.
I want to learn to play the fiddle and the oboe.
I sing when I get bored, it's a comforting thing.
Make a cup of coffee for me, and hold a conversation with me.
It bothers me when people ask me to analyze their newly written sheet music.
I don't claim "edge"... but respect those that do.
I grow numb when I read good literature.
When I listen to symphonies I smile unknowingly.
I enjoy being in theatre productions very much.
Not many females get along with me.
I believe everyone should own a Godspeed! You Black Emperor cd.
And a Digital Leather cd.
I like showering... I do it when I get bored.
I have friends all over the country, I want to visit them all.
Foreign languages aren't my thing.
I like little smoky, hole-in-the-wall restraunts.
You may like my laugh, or hate it.
I wish I would write as much as I use to.
I don't have a fear of heights, and I like climbing buildings.
I have a fear of gaining weight.
I like my nose for some reason.
I do have rabbit teeth, but they make my smile.
The clothing company I work for makes me feel closer to the music again.
My keyboard is my faith.
My cello; my lungs.
I say "Hi" a lot.
I tend to relate smell with lots of things. ex: beer and cigarettes for days... a boy I know.
I was once given black roses... I pressed everyone of them.
The height of the Nazi regime and Hitler interest me.
Since I was eleven I've said I was going to move to Boston right out of high school, and I still plan on it.
I love hearing stories. Tell me a good one.
I have five friends here that I am incredibly envious of their talents: Kyle Walker, Chris Doyle, Michael Wilkerson, Joe Betcher, and Jason Cimon.
I love looking at photography done by young kids. The talent of the future.
I can't drink out of a glass unless I have a straw.
I have many OCD tendencies, but nothing incredible.
I treasure the mistakes I make, I keep them on a back up floppy disk in my brain... just in case.
I'm still growing up... there's so much to learn.
I have severe anemia, but I will never show it to you.
Bleeding ulcers can bring depression.
A friend once stopped by my house when he knew I was sick and gave me roses and a candle... I felt better.
I met a boy on the Staten Island Ferry, and we've been incredibly close since.
I get sick of being in one place for too long.
It's harder than you think to get on my bad side.
When someone is attractive (male or female) I feel happy for them.
Why do people intentionally mis-spell words? ex. Kool? or Kewl?
Sometimes I just feel no need to explain myself. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Yes, I wanted to show him his invention was flawed... |
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| 10:30pm 20/07/2005 |
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mood:  hand up!
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No, I didn't completely leave Livejournal. Just needed to exit that one... Clear it basically. Start a new.
I'm feeling really great about somethings right now. Adam and I are doing well right now. I hope it lasts. Indeed, I missed him terribly. I never want to let go of him again. He is truly part of me, we've been through so much together...
My friends, yes I do have a rather diverse numerous group of friends, but they are all wonderful. And all make me smile. Hopefully, I do the same.
The summer is going well, I suppose. It's going by too fast. I'm glad to be home for the time being. It's rather nice.
I really enjoy working for Avior... It brings me a hell of a lot of joy. Brings me a lot closer to the music world now that the band is through. I needed something to get me back in. I had been going through withdrawls.
Speaking of music. I've written three songs on the keyboard. Because I'm ridiculous. One is about the infamous boy from Staten Island, the other about my dearest Megan (whom I miss dearly), and the other about life in general.
If you're lucky one day I'll play them for you guys. HA.
It's all ok, I just told you not to lie. I'm not mad. Just disappointed. All is well though.
I'm talking to the loverly Neil on the phone and awaiting Toni's arrival.
G'day. |
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